The Manual
Author: A'serene
Category: Romance, Humor
Rating: PG/P12 (for now)
Contents: Gibbs finds the "Holy Grail" of Manuals and acts on it.
Disclaimer: I do not in any way own NCIS. The guide was sent to me in one of those chain emails, and the inspiration for this is from JAG actually.
A/N: Inspired by:
What is it you want from me, Harm?" Mac
"Operating instructions would be nice. "Harm
JAG Episode "A Tangled Webb, Part II"
Leroy Jethro Gibbs was incensed. He considered himself a rather patient man; he hadn't killed DiNozzo after five years after all. It usually took a lot to get him to the homicidal point, usually a couple of head slaps or Gibbs' glares would shut anyone up who dare to push him past his boundaries. But SHE wasn't anyone. SHE was his irritating, ambitious, manipulative, secret keeping, sexy, intelligent, knew him to well, Boss. And it was only this woman who had ever made him go from calm to insane in two seconds or less. He couldn't decide if he wanted to rattle her or throw her across her desk and make love to her. This wasn't just a recent development, she'd always had this affect on him and six years ago he knew which side he usually chose, however that was before she became Director of NCIS. Now throwing her across her desk would probably not be in his best interest health wise. (Did he forget to mention she had excellent aim?)
He wasn't even really sure why he was angry with her. No doubt she had done something that had proved she should have stayed a field agent and he probably rubbed it in her face and took it for grant it. Or she actually had the answers where he had none. He wasn't entirely sure, but it had been this way since she had started as Director and he was hoping that eventually it would just come to a stop. Three years in and it hadn't.
It was therefore very unfortunate that upon leaving the Director's office and returning to his desk, he found his team shuffling around trying to avoid looking at him, but at the same time trying to get his attention.
"WHAT?"
"Uh Boss...problem," DiNozzo began.
"Well fix it."
"We uh can't," Ziva added.
"McGee! Fix it."
"I can't Boss, neither can Abby. We kinda sort need..."
"Need me to do it?"
"No Boss," Tony sighed. "We need the Director's signature."
"Well than go and get it!" Gibbs snapped having no desire to grovel at her feet for her signature. He did not grovel; she would come around to his way of thinking!
"Boss...she's..."
"We think it would be better coming from the team leader," Ziva interrupted her teammates. She would never admit that she had no desire to go toe to toe with Jenny after what she had heard through the walls.
"Give me the damn thing," he ordered holding his hand out. The team did and were surprised that he was actually going to go back upstairs. They were shocked as he signed the form himself and then handed it back saying he was going to check in with Abby. The team stared at the form that very clearly said Jennifer M. Shepard.
"What does the M stand for?" Tony inquired ignoring the fact his Boss had just signed the Director's name.
"I..." Ziva fell silent as she noticed the same woman walking down the stairs. "Tony!" She hissed trying to get him to hide the paper but it was to late.
"Agent DiNozzo, don't you have work to do?"
"Ah yes, going right back to that Madame, err Ma'am. Director..." Tony quickly hurried back to his desk.
"Abby called and said you needed me to sign something."
"Oh its been taken care of Director," Ziva said hoping she would ask beyond that.
"Say Director?" Tony began seeing his golden opportunity.
"DiNozzo."
"What does M stand for?"
"The M in what?"
"Ah...the signature..."
"What signature?" She demanded. She noticed McGee holding the paper above a shredder. "Hand it over McGee!"
"Director it was just a rough copy, I'm sure the Boss..." McGee was cut off as she grabbed the sheet and glanced down at the signature that was defiantly not hers.
"He's dead." Was all she said before running the sheet through the shredder herself and going back to her office, her door slamming just a little bit harder. Gibbs came back moments later looking for the sheet.
"Where's the paper?"
"The Director shredded it," Ziva answered. "She also said you're dead."
"Ziva you don't make friends by tattling on the Boss!" Tony warned.
"But I'm guessing the only reason she found out is because you said something, isn't that right DiNozzo?"
"Boss it wasn't like that!" Tony protested receiving an extra hard head slap.
"I made a new copy Boss," McGee said holding out the freshly printed page. Gibbs marched back up there, mainly to tell Jenny to keep out of his case and away from his team, but he'd make sure she signed the damn piece of paper too. As he reached her door Cynthia was already protesting but was cut off by the intercom.
"Let him in Cynthia." Both Gibbs and Cynthia were surprised and the younger woman sat down quickly and shut her mouth. Gibbs hesitantly entered the office and found Jenny at her desk looking perfectly calm. He was slightly puzzled by this. She should be yelling at him, not calm. "Shut the door Jethro."
He closed it gently. She beckoned him to sit in front of her and told him she'd be right with him as soon as she finished. She removed her glasses five minutes later surprised he had sat so quietly.
"Now what is you need?"
"Director I don't appreciate you interfering in my investigations."
"We've been over this, suck it up," she responded. He was completely floored by this turn around in her attitude. Either she was on something, or he really didn't understand her at all. "Now what do you want from me?"
"Operating instructions would be nice," he muttered before clearing his throat and replying "A signature."
"Well, I'll see what I can do." She held out her hand for the paper and he turned it over. She read over it carefully hiding her smirk as he fidgeted. She signed the form and turned it back to him. She then turned back to her work and watched as he got up to leave. He was just to the door when she called out. "And even if there were operating instructions, you would have to learn how to read first."
He was to stunned to reply and just made a strategic retreat. The retreat was through the squad room where he told his team to call it a night and then straight to his car. He did not like the look in her eye, he knew her well enough to know that she wouldn't let that comment go, quite so easily. That and the fact that she had given him the ‘look' it wasn't the angry look, or the amused look, it wasn't the confused or irritated one either. It was the one he had seen more often during their past, the one right before she would seduce the hell out of him. The one that he was ashamed to admit made him bend to her will regardless of circumstance. He didn't like that look, at east not when he was sure he wasn't going to enjoy the outcome.
He retreated back to his house and hide away in the basement with his boat, keeping the outside world out. He downed his glass of bourbon and then proceeded to pour another. His hands sweat even as he gripped the sander and ran it rhythmically over the wood. The look haunted him, and if he closed his eyes it was much easier to imagine running his hands over her skin, than the wood. He wouldn't lie and say she wasn't in his fantasy; he dared any man to not fantasize about her. It just simply was too hard to do. The only part he didn't like was that while they were very real in his mind, he knew they would never be more than memories and as much as she may drive him insane, he wasn't sure he could keep dealing with the static between them. He glanced at his watch after a while and decided that maybe he could bring dinner by her house as a peace offering. He got in his car and drove carefully over to her house, only to find it still dark. He hoped that meant she was still at work or asleep, he didn't want o think that she spent her nights elsewhere. He figured it wouldn't hurt to knock and went slowly up to the door only to find a package.
That to him meant she hadn't come home, because he couldn't imagine her leaving something on her porch. He searched for the return address but found none. This forced him to worry, she was a target, and unknown packages could easily be assassination attempts. He searched the package again carefully and found the note in Ziva's writing.
Jenny,
Don't kill us, Abby and I didn't mean to snoop but she found it first and then we certainly couldn't stop our curiosity. I realize that curiosity killed the Church...or was that one an animal? Either way we figured it better to seek forgiveness than ask permission. We are currently begging for your forgiveness and swear that everything we saw/read will be taken to the grave. We also swear on Gibbs' that no matchmaking attempts will occur unless authorized. Again we plead forgiveness, since Gibbs won't actually let us apologize. We didn't mean to read the whole thing but we defiantly learned a lot. Now if only DiNozzo would get his head out of the sand I might be able to employ it and please don't repeat that. I don't want to get in trouble for breaking Rule 12.
Not that Abby isn't already.
--Ziva and Abby.
p.s. I DID NOT FIND IT FIRST, Ziva's trying to pin this all on me!!
He made mental note to slap DiNozzo and McGee later, but the note itself gave him something's to think about. Whatever was in this package was obviously something personal to Jenny. Something that probably shed some insight into the workings of her mind and might actually help him understand her better. If he did understand better, it stood to reason that they wouldn't fight so much, and perhaps could go back to having the friendship he missed. If other relationships developed well that was just icing on the cake. It wasn't like he had to tell her, he still loved her.
He grabbed the package, glanced around and bolted back to his car, pulling quietly out of the drive and speeding back to his house. He didn't notice the curtain on the top floor of the townhouse falling back into place, nor did he hear the quiet giggles from inside that same front door; he was already half way back to his place.
He ran back into his house and down to the basement taking the knife out of his pocket and opening the package. It was a leather bound book; obvious ware suggested that it was well loved and used. As he opened the book he was slightly surprised to find Jenny's writing filling the pages. He read further in and paused. This was her journal, diary; whatever he wanted to call it he had found literally the Holy Grail to Jenny. Read it, don't read it. He reasoned that if Abby and Ziva had he could as well. It wasn't like he'd actually repeat what was said, and he'd save the note so he could deliver it back safe and sound and she wouldn't be the wiser.
---
Jennifer Shepard let the curtain fall back into place in her darkened bedroom. Everything was going perfectly according to plan. As she moved to the doorway she heard the faint giggling down the stairs and both Abby and Ziva hushing each other. She walked down slowly, taking care not to turn on any lights in case Gibbs decided to turn back. She found her two accomplices sitting on either side of the front door clutching their stomachs in laughter.
"You two better hope he's gone."
"Oh he couldn't get out of here fast enough!" Abby laughed.
"He rabbited."
"I think she means rabbit, but yea, that too," Abby translated.
"I can't believe you're actually doing this," Ziva said.
"Jethro asked for instructions, I have never been one to deny a request," Jenny answered. "It's entirely up to him what he decides to do with it."
"You're not going to make this easy for him are you?" Abby questioned curious.
"It's a woman's prerogative to change her mind," Jenny quoted.
"Oh Jenny, and people think you're docile," Ziva sighed. "You do realize you have made yourself very vulnerable."
"Hardly. The first page is a how to kill Leroy Jethro Gibbs and get away with it," she answered.
"Hm...me think the lady doth protest," Abby teased.
"And me thinks the favorite is slowly falling from grace," Jenny shoot back. Abby mimed zipping her lips and throwing away the key.
"So what's first on the list?" Ziva questioned.
"A phone call," Jenny replied with a faint smile. "Although I think that is one lesson he's already learned. It won't hurt for the review."
"What exactly is the goal of this Jenny?"
"I don't know what you're talking about, he asked for operating instructions, I gave them."
"And you just want him to learn. So he can understand all women," Abby concluded.
"Exactly."
"Including Lt. Colonel Mann."
"She's in
"Maybe he'll retire."
"So what if he does?" Jenny threw back trying not to go on the defense. She hoped she had thought to get rid of the page of the reasons why Mann had to go.
"Hm...okay. Well if you need any more assistance, you know where to finds us," Ziva responded gesturing toward Abby. The two younger women left and Jenny retreated back to her study.
"You think this is supposed to be his wake-up call?" Abby asked.
"He'd have to be blind, mute, and deaf, not to get this.
"Blind, deaf, and dumb, but yea same thing."