Cherchez La Femme
- Part 2 -
Nil desperandum : Do not despair
She could feel her hands and legs shaking as she neared the grave stone, it was so tiny, no more than a foot wide. Shaking she lifted the flowers from the paper wrapping and placed them in the small hole. She stared in silence at the tiny plot of land where he lay and thought of his tiny white coffin, no more than two foot by three feet. She traced the outline of the white marble headstone glinting in the sunlight, and ran her fingers over each letter as she read the inscription.
Tomas Jasper Shepard,
16th May 2000 – 29th June 2002
Son of Jenny Shepard
You will float in peace among
the clouds with the angels for eternity
It was close as she could get to him now, her little boy taken from her in the blink of an eye. She would never forget that day, that terrible day. She pictured him walking along beside her grinning from ear to ear, his blue eyes shining in the bright sunlight.
She was holding his hand tightly as they waited for the man to go green, she pointed at the sign and he watched it eagerly waiting for it to change. The light turned green and she led him out into the road, as he jumped onto the sidewalk his hat fell off and he turned to pick it up. His hand slipped from hers, as she turned to grab him back she felt someone push her onto the sidewalk, heard the screeching of brakes and saw him fall onto the concrete like a rag doll.
She was on her knees beside him touching his ghostly white face; his eyes flickered open as he fought to breathe. He gripped her fingers with his small hand for a second before his arm fell limp and his chest stopped moving. Shaking her head, tears streaming down her cheeks she scooped him into her arms and held him to her. She stroked his soft brown hair and sobbed into his shoulder.
Arms found hers and hands prised at her hands trying to take Tomas from her, she held onto him more tightly before someone forced her arms away. Through her tears she saw the EMT's trying to revive him, his arms and legs splayed awkwardly and his chest being forced up and down. She didn't remember doing anything or saying anything, she was in a state of extreme shock. All the witness statements said she flew at the EMT's screaming at them to stop hurting him, she was quoted as saying 'I don't want anyone else to hurt him, he's hurt enough.'
Everything else was a blur that day, the journey to the hospital, apparently she had sat in silence as an EMT performed heart massage in the back of the vehicle, she had stared at the metal doors, tears silently pouring down her cheeks as she waited for the doctor to tell her what she already knew, DOA, she had heard them say to each other. She knew that already, he had gone in those seconds he lay in her arms.
She stood outside the ER in a daze, she was numb, she was shaking and clinging onto his coat as the rain started, she didn't know how long she had been standing there, time didn't matter, nothing mattered. She was soaked to the bone and hypothermic when a nurse took her back inside, she asked her if there was anyone she could call for her. She shook her head silently wishing she had told Jethro, wishing she had knocked on his door and told him about their son when she had the chance.
Tony stood in silence as he watched her stroke the white marble, he could hear her stifled sobs and sniffs. He didn't want to intrude in her grief but at the same time he didn't want to leave her alone, he lifted one foot to step backwards and accidentally kicked a stone, he cursed under his breath as he slowly looked up and found a pair of green eyes boring into his.
'What are you doing here Tony?' She tried to hide her tear stained cheeks and be her usual controlled self, he played along and shrugged his shoulders, 'you lost your protection detail and I didn't wanna be the one to have to tell Gibbs,' he widened his eyes and nodded seriously. She folded her arms and raised her eyebrows, he rolled his eyes from left to right and back again quickly, 'awkward silence, I'll give you a minute then I think we ought'a get back to headquarters before anyone notices you're missing?'
'Let's go,' she started down the path towards the gates. Realising he wasn't behind her she stopped and stared at him, he jumped and ran the few feet towards her and walked quickly by her side back to his car. They climbed in silently and Tony started the engine, as he pulled away he opened his mouth to speak and closed it again, 'Erm, Jenny? I was wondering why...' 'my son,' she interrupted him looking out of the window, 'hit by a car, died almost instantly, six years ago,' Tony concentrated on the road ahead noticing the quaver in her voice she fought to hide. They drove back to NCIS headquarters hardly speaking, Tony thought she deserved a little time to herself.
Ziva was pacing up and down staring out of the glass window waiting for Tony to return. She stopped moving when she saw his car pull in; she squinted through the glass when she saw a second figure in his passenger seat. The figure applied lipstick and touched up her mascara an eye shadow before climbing out, Ziva's jaw dropped when she realised who it was and what they might have been doing.
'McGee come here!' 'What is it?' 'Look at this,' McGee rolled his eyes and dragged himself up from his chair and stood beside her. 'What am I looking at?' 'Tony and his car, look who he is with,' she pointed excitedly, 'that has to mean something,' McGee squinted and realised it was the directors shoulders Tony was giving a reassuring squeeze, he raised his eyebrows as he turned to look at Ziva, 'they look cosy.' Ziva nodded and smirked, together they strained to watch as Tony and the director walked towards the entrance side by side. 'Who looks cosy?' Gibbs asked as he looked out of the window beside Ziva and McGee and took a swig from his coffee cup.
'Boss,' McGee jumped away from the window quickly, 'Who looks cosy McGee?' 'Tony and the director,' Ziva replied sidling back towards her desk, 'uh huh, when have you made your appointments for?' 'what appointments?' Ziva asked, 'to get your eyesight tested, you seem to need glasses more than I do.' He walked towards his desk and placed the coffee cup down before turning around, 'anything more interesting than the argument over a scratched Honda at the naval base yet?' 'Nope, although the women in the dispute have made further complaints against each other, weed killer in flower pots, paint thrown at fences and the head chopped off a rare orchid to add to the list.'
Gibbs rolled his eyes and shook his head, 'wonderful,' he stopped and looked up at the sounds of Tony's voice, he was grinning from ear to ear beside the director who was wearing a bemused expression on the floor above. 'Okay Tony, I suggest you quit while you're ahead,' Jenny emphasised the last word and laughed a little as she spoke, then rolled her eyes at Tony's blank expression. 'I'd, better, get back, to work,' Jenny turned and started walking towards her office. Gibbs narrowed his eyes at the smile on Jenny's lips, 'Oh, a head, I get it,' he called after Jenny, she stopped and turned around obviously amused, 'getting caught in the crossfire of cat and dog poop, a human toilet,' he laughed at the joke and seemed to find it hilarious. Jenny rolled her eyes and laughed at him, 'I do hope you're not always this slow on the uptake, although, you were a lot faster earlier,' he nodded grinning, 'you know where I am if, you know,' she smiled knowingly and nodded as she turned back towards her office.
Tony grinned to himself and watched her close the door, he froze and his face fell as he realised he was being watched. Gibbs was glaring at Jenny's door as Ziva was smirking at him and McGee was looking at him in awe and amusement. 'DiNozzo, when you've finished, get down here and do some work,' he hurried down the stairs and slipped behind his desk in seconds. 'Sorry boss,' Gibbs picked up his coffee and walked straight past him towards the elevator. 'What did I miss, what happened?'
Ziva stood up and grinned, 'I suggest you quit while you're a head,' 'oh, a head, I get it,' McGee started to laugh with Ziva mockingly; Tony frowned and stared at his computer screen. 'So, where did you go?' McGee asked leaning back on his chair, 'to er, late lunch, very late lunch,' 'right, course, at...' he looked at his watch, 'quarter to four in the afternoon, you've been gone over an hour,' Tony looked over at McGee and gave him a Gibbs stare. 'What did you do at 'lunch' Tony?' Ziva asked smirking, 'Er, I ate,' he replied sarcastically before looking back at his computer screen. 'Course you did,' she nodded smirking as she headed back to her seat.
Assume: Accept as truth without proof.