What The Heart Wants
- Chapter 3 -
'Down please,' Aaron told Jenny as they left the elevator, she popped him on his feet and took his hand in hers, she felt an irrepressible smile spread onto her face as she led him towards her town car, her driver gave her a strange look as she climbed in and strapped the toddler in on her lap. 'Where to Director?' her driver asked, 'Somewhere I can get car seats,' her driver nodded and smiled. Aaron sat staring around the car, his eyes wide at all the shiny things around him.
They pulled up outside a baby superstore and Jenny climbed out with Aaron, she led him inside and stopped in the doorway, stunned by the rows and rows of stuffed bears, toys, blankets, clothes, pacifiers in all colours, she was pulled out of her daze by Aaron tugging at her arm, she looked down and saw he had spotted the toys. 'Come on, lets get the boring stuff done then we can look at the fun stuff.'
An assistant came over to her as she stood looking lost in amongst the car seats, 'do you need any help?' he asked, Jenny looked up, 'yes, please, I don't really know what I'm looking for, I need a seat for this one and one for a 5 month old,' the shop assistant smiled and helped her pick out appropriate seats and then led her around the shop finding the other things she might need, then he left her to look at the toys with a wide eyed Aaron, his hands reaching out at all the toys they passed.
When Jenny left, she had so many bags she could easily have bought half the store, she fastened Aaron's car seat securely in the back of her town car and then sat him in it and buckled him in. He looked at it disdainfully and started trying to undo the belt, thank god for childproof locks Jenny thought as she fastened her own belt and asked her driver to take her home.
She climbed out of the car and unfastened a loudly complaining Aaron, she removed the car seat and carried it into her hall way. Aaron looked around amazed and ran across the hall into her study, she dragged him back out and closed all the doors off the hall, 'stay here,' she told him before heading back outside to supervise her driver removing all her purchases from the trunk of the car. He piled them up in the hall and pulled a face at Aaron before nodding curtly to Jenny, 'Sam, could you take this car seat back to NCIS for me and give it to Special Agent Gibbs, with a message please?' Sam nodded, 'sure, what's the message?' 'I want Anthony here by seven or there will be consequences,' he nodded, 'sure, see you tomorrow director,' smiling he closing the door behind him.
'Do you wanna pick your room for tonight?' Jenny asked Aaron, he looked at her strangely so she carried him upstairs and showed him into her two spare rooms, the first had a double bed and was decorated in pale pink, Aaron turned his nose up at the pink bedspread and walked straight back out of the room. Jenny took his hand and showed him into the room next to hers', it too had a double bed but it was bigger with a huge built-in closet along one wall, the walls were pale blue and the bedspread was navy with a paler blue square design.
Aaron clambered up onto the bed and curled up in a little ball, Jenny smiled at him, 'you wait here, I'll bring up some of your new things,' he nodded and pulled the blankets towards him. Jenny hurried next door and removed the pillows; she made a wall around Aaron to stop him falling off the bed. She headed downstairs and carried as many bags upstairs as possible, seeing Aaron had his eyes closed she headed back downstairs and fetched the rest of the bags.
While Aaron slept, she unpacked the tiny pants and shirts she had bought for Anthony and the bigger clothes for Aaron and folded them neatly on separate shelves in the closet. She pulled out the pairs of sneakers and bibs and sleep suits and found them all places to live, she took out the diapers and night-time shorts and stowed them away. She put the creams and powders and baby shampoo in a box and sat that on another shelf.
She took out the blue stuffed bear Aaron had picked out and sat it beside him, he stirred slightly and grabbed the bear, and he held it to him as he closed his eyes once more. Jenny smiled as she unfolded the soft fleece blanket and covered him over gently, she couldn't resist placing a tender kiss on his forehead before unpacking the bottles and baby mugs. She took the bottles, mugs, sterilising equipment and powdered milk downstairs and cleared a space in one of her cupboards.
She headed back upstairs and took the toys from their packaging and put them neatly in the closet, she held the stuffed rabbit she had bought for Anthony and felt tears prick the corners of her eyes. Having Aaron with her made her realise what she had given up for her job, the chance to be a mother. She didn't know how long she would have Aaron and Anthony with her, her head screamed out telling her not to get too attached, she could deny it all she wanted but her heart and body ached for a child. The need to nurture and protect, all the love she had to give, and here were two little boys that needed someone to care for them, if only in the short term.
She switched on monitor so she would know when he was awake and closed the door as she slipped out of the room; she took the counter part to the monitor downstairs to her study and made herself a mug of steaming fresh coffee. She stared at the papers in front of her and sighed as her phone started to ring, 'Shepard,' she stated, 'Director Shepard, this is Dr Lyme from Bethesda, I'm afraid Petty Office Cameron took a turn for the worst, he passed away five minutes ago,' she leaned forwards onto her desk, fabulous. 'What happened?' 'He started to bleed internally from his wounds, his clotting factors were through the floor, he bled out,' 'okay, I'd like the body to be sent to NCIS headquarters,' 'paperwork's right here, can you give me the name of the ME receiving the body?' 'Dr Donald Mallard,' 'thank you,' 'thank you.' She hung up and groaned inwardly, the day had gone from bad to worse.
She hit the 1 key on her phone and it speed dialled Gibbs, sad she thought, Gibbs on speed dial, 'yup?' came the gruff reply, 'I thought you would like to know Petty Officer Cameron died ten minutes ago, body's on the way to Ducky,' a long pause, in the background she heard a voice stammering, 'apparently if I don't get Anthony to you by seven there will be consequences,' he muttered, she smiled to herself, 'yes Jethro,' she replied in an I'm already gonna have your arse over Petty Officer Cameron do not make matters worse for yourself tone. 'See you at eight then,' he hung up, leaving Jenny to hiss like an angry cat. She growled at the phone and slammed it on the desk, 'why do you always have to be so infuriating?'
She opened the file on her desk and scanned the words until she reached the part on background info, both Christians, no prior convictions, Petty Officer Cameron had no siblings, his father had been killed in Vietnam and his mother had been dead five years from cancer, his wife had also been an only child, both her parents had died in a car crash ten years previously.
As she sat thinking over the situation over she noticed the lights flashing on the monitor, then she heard a soft whimpers and then crying, she sighed and headed upstairs. She took a deep breath and opened the door, Aaron was sat up on the bed clutching his teddy, he was beginning to choke on his sobs and looked up at her with wide red eyes. She hurried over to him and pulled him into a hug, as she held him she realised he was wet, 'Where mommy? Want mommy,' he sobbed, she didn't know what to say, 'where mommy, where mommy,' he continued to cry, she held him close and rubbed his back gently. 'Want mommy,' she looked down at the shaking little boy and tilted his head up towards her, 'Aaron, mommy can't come,' 'why?' 'Mommy's,' she closed her eyes for a second and took a deep breath, 'mommy is in heaven,' he stared at her, 'mommy is an angel in heaven,' 'when mommy come?' 'she can't sweetie,' 'daddy?' 'Daddy is an angel too,' 'in heaven?'
Jenny nodded, 'in heaven, they're looking down on you and they love you very much.' He watched her for a moment and then screwed his face up in thought, 'you take care of me?' She nodded allowing a small smile to spread onto her lips, 'yeah, I will,' he nodded and looked at the bed, 'who read me stories?' she nodded, 'me,' 'who play with me?' 'me,' 'Jenny take care of Tony?' She nodded smiling, 'yeah I'll take care of Tony too.' She realized she had just promised him something that wouldn't be happening, she would only be taking care of them for a couple of days then they would probably be whisked off for adoption.
He watched her for a moment and the nodded, he slipped off the bed and ran out into the hall, Jenny followed him and spotted the toddler rushing into her room. 'What are you doing in my room young man?' she asked him smiling; he grinned and peered into the en-suite. 'Need bath,' he told her, 'yes you do, do you wanna use your bath?' He nodded grinning and Jenny led him back into his room, she opened the closet and pulled out a few of the bath toys she had bought, Aaron grabbed the boat eagerly and started playing with it in the air whilst Jenny got out a soft towel and baby wash, and shampoo and a cat shaped bath sponge.
She took the stuff into the bathroom and placed it onto the shelf out of arms reach, Aaron followed her back into her room where she pulled out sweat pants and a tee-shirt. She popped Aaron onto her bed, and turned around to change, he watched her change as he waited. 'Come on,' she took his hand and led him back into the bathroom and turned on the taps.
Whilst she let the water warm up she undressed Aaron, she tested the temperature of the water and was about to lift Aaron up when the doorbell rang. She groaned and grabbed the towel; she wrapped Aaron up and picked him up before heading down to the front door. She opened it and found herself face to face with Anthony and Jethro, 'you're early,' she stepped back and allowed him to step inside. 'I wanted Anthony here for bath time,' he grinned, 'and I got some stuff for you.'
She tickled Anthony's tummy, he giggled back at her. 'Like what Jethro?' 'It's a surprise, you go bath them and it'll be ready when you get back,' she narrowed her eyes at him and set Aaron down beside her. She took Anthony from his car seat and went to take Aaron's hand, he shot off towards her study. 'Have fun catching him,' Gibbs grinned heading back outside.
Once Jenny had finally caught Aaron and had coaxed him into going back upstairs, she grabbed a second towel and a duck shaped bath sponge from the closet, and took both boys into the bathroom. She laid Anthony on the floor and lifted Aaron into the bath; he immediately started to splash and pushed his boat around giggling. Jenny undressed Anthony and placed him into the bath, supporting his back with her arm.
She dipped the duck sponge into the water and squeezed it over Anthony's head, he giggled happily and hit the water with his hand. Jenny heard a strange noise outside and looked towards the door, 'Jethro is that you?' 'Yup,' he answered sticking his head around the door. He disappeared again and left her with the splashing giggling pair while he sorted out her surprise.
'Jethro!' He stuck his head back around the bathroom door, 'Yuuuus?' She looked round at him, 'Could you grab me the three little boats with faces from the box next door please?' He nodded and slipped into the bedroom, he opened the closet and stopped, stunned he looked at the small piles of clothes and rows of diapers and toys, oh dear, he thought, this could end badly.
He found the boats and chuckled at the big beaming faces; he carried them into the bathroom and couldn't help but grin at Jenny laughing with the boys. She turned round to him, still smiling a smile he hadn't seen in years, her laughter filled the room with a warmth and familiarity he had sorely missed. He bent down and set the boats on the water, Anthony looked down with wide eyes, a smile spreading over his face as he watched Gibbs move the boats around the water. He crashed the boats into Aaron's leg and pretended to be horrified as the capsized; Aaron giggled and lifted the boats up making them float again.
He stood up and left the room again, Jenny picked up the baby wash and gently cleaned Anthony; she then cleaned his head with the baby shampoo. She took him out of the bath and wrapped him in a towel before laying him on the floor on his back; she then washed Aaron and his hair and then lifted him out of the bath and wrapped him up in a second towel.
Jenny took out a clean diaper and baby powder, she powdered Anthony's bottom before fastening his diaper. She then slipped him into a sleep suit and laid him back on the towel, she then helped Aaron into his training diapers and pyjamas emblazoned with an anime character.
Gibbs stuck his head around the bathroom door for the third time, 'you finished,' 'yes we are, aren't we Aaron,' Aaron nodded and sped out of the door, 'catch him, I don't want him falling down the stairs,' Gibbs looked back out into the hallway, 'he won't,' Jenny jumped to her feet with Anthony in her arms.
'Yes he could, he could fall down the stairs and break his neck,' she shouted rushing past him into the hallway. She stopped when she saw Aaron peering through the bars of a stair gate that hadn't been there before, she frowned at Gibbs, 'you could have told me.' 'Where's the fun in that?' she thumped him in the arm and looked over the banister, a second stair gate was at the bottom of the stair case. 'So he can't get up them from downstairs,' Gibbs stated.
'Thank you Jethro, I didn't think of that,' Gibbs grinned, 'I know you didn't, there's something else in the bedroom for you,' she raised her eyebrows at him, 'their bedroom, not yours,' she smirked as she walked past him and entered the bedroom. 'Come on Aaron,' Gibbs called, directing the toddler into the bedroom. Jenny was staring across the room, 'you like it,' she nodded, 'yeah,' he smiled as she walked over to the white crib and ran her fingers over the sheep design on the end.
She realised it was old and turned to him, 'it was Kelley's' Gibbs stated simply looking at the floor. 'Mattress is new,' he added, Jenny laid Anthony on the mattress and stopped, 'how do I lay him, on his side, his back?' Gibbs looked down at Aaron, 'do you know how mommy laid Anthony to sleep?' He nodded and ran over to Anthony, he tried to push his legs down flat and pull the blanket over him but he couldn't do it. Jenny stepped in just before Anthony started to cry and held him to her, rubbing his back and making soothing noises.
He calmed down quickly and his eyes closed as she gently rocked him to sleep, Gibbs stood transfixed by the door, there was something different about her. She laid Anthony in the cot and tucked him in safely, she switched on the mobile attached to the cot and turned the baby monitor on. She put a finger to her lips and ushered Aaron and Gibbs out of the room, 'have you eaten yet,' she shook her head and nudged Aaron along the hall, 'Come on lets find you something to eat.'
Aaron ran over to the stair gate and started trying to pull it open, Jenny followed accompanied by Gibbs. 'What have you got?' Jenny opened the stair gate and began helping Aaron down the stairs, 'I didn't mention feeding you,' Gibbs shut the stair gate behind him and followed them down to the bottom of the stairs, 'Have you got anything suitable for a toddler to eat?' 'Er,' 'Exactly, that's why I went food shopping,' Jenny sighed as she stepped into the hallway, 'what haven't you bought today?' 'Erm, a black lacy thong,' he whispered into her ear. She sighed and pulled open a drawer, she threw several take away menu's at him, 'pick something.'
Gibbs grinned as he followed her into the kitchen; she opened her refrigerator and found it full of vegetables, milk, cheese, everything she could think of. She raised her eyebrows at Gibbs, 'if you're so knowledgeable, you cook him dinner and I'll order the takeaway,' 'I might just do that,' he turned to Aaron and kneeled in front of him, 'what do you like to eat?' Aaron thought hard for a moment, 'Jello!' 'and?' 'Jelly sanwhichees, caaaaaandy, fwies,' 'pizza?' 'Pizza! Pepwoni?' Gibbs chuckled, 'yes pepperoni and extra cheese,' Aaron bounced up and down excitedly chanting 'pizza, pizza, pizza, pizza, pizza.'
Jenny's face broke into a smile as she watched the small boy following Gibbs every move around the kitchen eagerly waiting for the pizza to cook. She watched, enchanted, as Gibbs lifted Aaron onto his lap and played with him whilst the pizza was cooking, it seemed so unfair that someone so good with kids should have his own taken away from him so cruelly. He obviously had a lot of love to give and would have made a fabulous father. She heard a whimper through the baby monitor and headed for the door as it gradually turned into distressed cries; she hurried over to the crib and lifted Anthony into her arms.
Gibbs stopped playing games with his hands and listened to Jenny's voice through the baby monitor she had left on the table. For someone with limited experience with babies and apparently no maternal instinct she sure had cottoned on quickly, there was something very amusing about Jenny making baby noises and giggling in quick succession. The thing that made his smile spread across his face was the way Anthony was cooing back quietly, the baby talk was replaced by a soft voice singing 'a whole new world' he laughed as he remembered her love of Disney films, at least she had an excuse to sing the songs now.
He heard a slight creak and a sound he knew was Jenny kissing Anthony, presumably on the head, he heard her whisper but didn't catch all the words, he waited to hear her footsteps returning, it was silent save for the sounds of breathing. He pulled face at Aaron who immediately started to laugh and put him down so he could check on the pizza, after waiting another ten minutes he took the pizza out and cut a quarter of it up into small pieces then pushed it onto a plate. He set the plate before Aaron on the table, he grinned and picked up a piece, smearing tomato sauce around his mouth and hands and munching it quickly.
Aaron finished his pizza and yawned widely, 'come on little man, let's get you upstairs,' Gibbs picked up the tired little boy and carried him up the stairs. He took him into the bathroom and gently wiped the small fingers and face clean; after he had brushed his teeth Aaron closed his eyes and curled up in Gibbs arms. Gibbs took him into the bedroom and laid him on the bed, he gave Jenny a strange look as she gazed down into the crib oblivious to his presence.
He rolled his eyes as he pulled pajamas out of a drawer and carefully changed Aaron and tucked him in; Jenny turned around and smiled at Aaron. She helped Gibbs tuck him in and stroked his hair gently before placing a delicate kiss on his forehead, 'sleep tight.' He pulled his teddy close and his blanket up to his chin and curled up into a ball as they slipped from the room.
'So what do you fancy for dinner?' Gibbs whispered as they closed the door, you she felt her brain scream, 'er Chinese, I'm thinking chow mien how about you?' her mouth garbled slightly breathless. He squinted at her, 'sure, you okay?' 'mm' she nodded looking past her shoulder and back upstairs as Gibbs directed her downstairs, 'they're not going anywhere,' he told her, 'I know, I know, but what if they wake up and…' he silenced her with a finger on her lips, her knees suddenly felt weak.
'And nothing,' he grinned, 'if they wake up we'll hear them, no point wasting time watching the door,' Jenny smiled and nodded, 'I suppose not,' she breathed, lost in his blue eyes she was becoming breathless and was suddenly incredibly hot. She looked away quickly and tucked her hair behind her ear nervously, as she practically ran to her kitchen. Gibbs smiled to himself, his eyes following the curve of her hips as she sped away.
They ordered the Chinese and Jenny poured them both a glass of bourbon, they waited in the kitchen, when the food arrived they sat talking about the old days and the rest of the team, laughing and joking like they used to. Jenny saw Gibbs eyes sparkling across the room at her and couldn't stop the smile spreading across her features. Gibbs saw it and found himself entranced by the way her eyes shone in the light, they hadn't talked like this for a long time.
Both saw it in the other and both would deny feeling it but something had changed between them, they were standing too close, way too close , they both knew it but neither wanted to move away. Jenny placed her glass on the work surface and looked up at Gibbs, he placed his glass beside hers his finger tips grazing her knuckles.
Their eyes locked and both had an urge to lean in towards the other and press their lips against the one's they so desperately desired. Jenny gave in to temptation and started to lean forwards, she closed her eyes and dropped her head as she found thin air. Gibbs wouldn't meet her eyes when she looked up, 'I better be going,' he whispered, she nodded, 'yeah,' she replied quickly, 'back to NCIS,' he looked up into her face and saw it, saw what he had been missing all these years, 'yeah,' she breathed, willing him not to leave. 'P Petty Officer Cameron,' he stuttered finding himself being drawn closer to those intoxicating eyes, she nodded, begging him to kiss her, 'uh huh.'
He jumped up and headed towards the door, he couldn't do it, she would only hurt him again. She followed him confused, 'I'll call if we get anything interesting,' she nodded as he opened the door, 'okay,' her hurt was evident in her voice, the way she looked down and wouldn't meet his eyes. He knew he had hurt her, he pressed his lips to her forehead and stroked her cheek with his thumb, he had to touch her, it wasn't possible to leave without touching her, 'night Jen,' he whispered before disappearing into the night. 'Night Jethro,' Jenny breathed watching until his figure was swallowed by the blackness, touching the spot where he had kissed her, a single tear at the corner of her eye.