You
Author: Jennygibbsbelong2getha
Category: Romance
Rating: PG/P12
Contents: So many nights I cried myself to sleep now that you love me I love myself I never thought I would say that I never thought there'd be you. Set to the Evanescence song 'You'.
Disclaimer: Lyrics are from the Evanescence song 'You' they belong to Amy Lee and of course Jen and Gibbs are owned by CBS etc and Ducky's quotes come from a book my sister has but most of them are from 'Anon' so I'm not sure who they belong to but I'm not in any way taking credit for them just borrowing them.
A/N: This song hasn't been released and there isn't a music video or a place where you can download it, on YouTube you can probably find a random video of it if you want to hear it being sung it really is a amazing song.
This story follows on from my story 'Your Star' well like three years later and has slight reference to it.
Verity this is for you cause without you I wouldn't have got the ending and the story wouldn't be thank you hun xx
The words have been drained from this pencil
Sweet words that I want to give you
and I can't sleep I need to tell you goodnight.
Jethro,
I have tried writing this a thousand times but no words can express how much I love you...
No that still sounds so stupid Jenny no ones vows start off with 'I have tried writing this a thousand times' she chided herself and ripped the paper from what once was a large pad of paper but now was reduced rapidly in size she scrunched it into a tight ball and threw it on the floor with the rest of the rejected vows.
Her cell phone started buzzing glad for the distraction she quickly picked up her phone and answered it hoping it was her soon to be husband
"Shepard"
"Hello Director" Came the voice of Ducky
"Ducky, How are you?" She asked disappointed it wasn't Jethro but glad for the distraction all the same
"Good thank you Jennifer, I called to see how you are doing"
She sighed and closed her eyes "I am stuck" She told him simply
"I thought you might be Dear, Ziva mentioned that Jethro had somehow managed to get his vows written but that you were still stuck"
She took a shaky breath she could feel the tears starting to form in her eyes "I love him so much Ducky but I can't seem to find words that express it the right way" She told him frustrated and upset.
He could hear the frustration in her voice and decided to try and help "Why don't you tell me what you have?" He suggested
"That's just the problem I don't have anything nothing sounds right or it sounds to cliché or scripted" She told him
"Would you like me to come over maybe I can help" He suggested
She glanced at the clock and saw it was still early on 8.30 "That would be wonderful if you aren't to busy"
"It'll be my pleasure dear I'll be there within 30 minutes " He told her hanging up
She closed her phone and turned her attention back to the new blank piece of paper that sat in front of her and she tried to find the words
Jethro,
From the first time I saw you I knew that we were...
No even more cliché Jenny She told herself ripping the paper and screwing it up once again adding it to the growing pile of paper balls at her feet.
There was a knock at the door and she got up to go and let Ducky in.
She lead him back into the study and motioned for him to sit down on the couch he took off his coat and sat down.
"Show me what you have dear" He told her
She walked over to the desk and pulled the pad of paper up and gave it to him.
He raised his eyebrows at her "I see my dear, well they do say a blank canvas is the best place to start"
She smiled at his words and took a drink from the glass of bourbon that had been her only company before he arrived. He took the glass out of her hand and placed it on the bookshelf before she had time to react or protest.
"That won't help you find the right words my dear it will only make it harder" He told her firmly standing up and walking over to her desk and picking up the pen which she had been using then he returned to the couch and motioned for her to join him which she did. He picked up the pen and turned to her
"Tell me the first thing you think of when I ask you when did you first knew you loved Jethro" He asked her pen poised ready to write
She looked at him strangely with her classic well known raised eyebrow look but he simply raised her own eyebrows encouraging her to answer. She closed her eyes for a few seconds and thought back to the day she had first realised she was in love with him for sure...
He had dragged her out of bed at 1am to show her the stars in the
"I think of that night in
Ducky nodded knowing which night she meant for it had become the talk of Jethro's team when Jen had told Abby and Ziva about it on a drunken girls night out not that long ago.
"What's the first thing that comes into your mind when I ask you what your first memory of Jethro is?" He asked her
She closed her eyes again and let her mind wander back over the years "mmm probably when I spilled his coffee" She told him biting back laughter
Ducky raised his eyebrows "I do believe that is one story I have not heard before Jennifer" He said amused pressing gently wanting to hear more
She shook her head "I'm not going to tell you Ducky you'll have to ask Jethro" She told him almost smirking at him
:What do these questions have to do with me getting my vows written Ducky?" She asked him changing the subject
"Trust me Jennifer" He told her
She nodded and continued answering his questions.
Four hours later and many questions later Jenny had her vows sitting in front of her.
"Read them back to me dear" Ducky asked her
'You gave me your strength when I had none of my own left,
You gave me a shoulder to lean on when I was weak,
You gave me your love and asked for nothing in return
When I look at you I know that you are all I will ever need
I wish I could find the words to express my love for you but I can't all I can say is
That you are my soul mate now and forever my heart will be yours
Jethro you will always have all of me'
She read from the sheet of paper that her and Ducky had spent over four hours working on and when she was finished she found that there were tears not only in her eyes but Ducky's also.
"Jennifer they are beautiful, you have done a amazing job you will have Jethro in tears I have no doubt" He told her wiping his own tears
She smiled at Ducky "We did a amazing job you mean"
He shook his head "No dear you did it all I just helped you find the words"
"Are you sure it doesn't sound to cliché or scripted?" She asked him worried
"Jennifer, Dear it comes from your heart nothing that comes from your heart is cliché or scripted" He told her sincerely
She smiled softly "I guess you're right but I still couldn't have done it without you. Look at all this wasted paper" She told him motioning to the large pile that surrounded her rubbish bin.
He smiled at the pile "Well you know what they say dear, For it to be a true masterpiece someone must have suffered so I guess we could say the tree suffered for this particular masterpiece"
"I guess we can" She agreed
"Would you like a drink?" She asked him
He looked at his watch and shook his head "I really must be getting home mother will be worrying about where I am and you my dear should go to be you have a wedding to be at tomorrow" He told her smiling
She glanced at her own watch and was surprised at the time it was late very late "I'll walk you out then" She told him standing up walking out into the hallway that lead to the front door.
When we're together I feel perfect
When I'm pulled away from you I fall apart
All you say is sacred to me
Your eyes are so blue I can't look away
As we lay in the stillness you whisper to me
Marry me, promise you'll stay with me
O you don't have to ask me
You know you're all that I live for
You know I'd die just to hold you, Stay with you
Somehow I'll show you that are my nightsky
I've always been right behind you
now i'll always be right beside you
"Are you ready dear?" Ducky asked Jen as she stood in her wedding dress at the back of the church
"Yes, I've never felt this nervous in my whole life though" She told him
He patted her hand "You're allowed to after all this is going to be the biggest day of your life" He reminded her
The music started and Abby and McGee started walking down the aisle followed soon after by Ziva and Tony, Then when they had taken their appropriate places Ducky started walking Jen down the aisle as they neared where Jethro stood waiting for her she could feel herself starting to cry. Ducky noticed her hands starting to shake and said to her quietly "Just remember to breathe dear the last thing you want is to faint"
She almost laughed at the doctors words but managed to choke out a response, "Thank you Ducky" She told him
Ducky nodded and kissed her cheek then handed her hand to Gibbs who linked his fingers through her own and squeezed gently reassuring her.
She could feel herself crying from the second Jethro opened his mouth and started speaking his vows;
'Jen when I first met you I couldn't believe that you were for real,
You were the only person I have ever met that can make me laugh,
That can make my pain go away with a few words or your touch,
I loved you from the first time I met you and I love you even more now,
No matter what happens, What is said or done you will always be my best friend,
My lover and the only person that I truly trust
I love you Jen'
She was crying so much after she had heard him speak even in their most private times he rarely voiced his feelings like that to her she drew a shaky breath and looked into his eyes as she said her vows to him;
'Jethro you gave me your strength when I had none of my own left,
You gave me a shoulder to lean on when I was weak,
You gave me your love and asked for nothing in return
When I look at you I know that you are all I will ever need
I wish I could find the words to express my love for you but I can't all I can say is
That you are my soul mate now and forever my heart will be yours
Jethro you will always have all of me'
When she was done speaking it wasn't only her and Jethro that were crying, Abby was hurriedly trying to slip tissues to everyone even Tony and Ziva who were doing there best to hide their tears.
A few minutes later the priest announced them as Mr & Mrs Leroy Jethro Gibbs and as they walked down the aisle taking their first steps as a married couple.
So many nights I cried myself to sleep
now that you love me
I love myself
I never thought I would say that
I never thought there'd be you.
She closed her eyes as she felt his arms around her gently leading her around the dance floor she trusted him to keep them away from the other couples and anything else that might get in their way, She felt him move one hand further up her back to where her dress didn't cover her back he started tracing small circles over her soft skin she felt shivers run up her spine as her memory took her back to the last time she had felt this happy;
"Jethro what are we doing?" She had asked him as he lead her to the kitchen
"Just hold on a minute Jen" He told her
"Jethro..." She had almost whined
"Jenny..." He had whined back at her smiling as he hit the play button on the CD player then pulled her out of the kitchen and into the back yard where rain still poured down.
"Its raining Jethro!" She had almost screamed at him but despite the rain she loved every single second of this.
"I know that Jen but if you stop whining and listen" He told her placing a finger over her lips to stop her talking.
She did and heard the song that she had been trying to making him dance to the previous night but he hadn't moved from the bed no matter what she had tried.
"Want to dance?" He asked her offering her his hand
She couldn't help but giggle as she accepted his hand and allowed him to lead her around the garden while the music played on softly in the background.
"Penny for them" He said to her softly but loudly enough to break her out of her memories
She shook her head gently and looked up at him "What?" She asked him confused
"What were you thinking about?" He asked her searching her face for clues
She smiled up at him and wrapped her arms around his neck "Do you remember the first time you asked me to dance?" She asked him.
He searched his memory and clicked "In pairs. It was raining and I took you out to the backyard and we danced to that song you loved so much" He told her proud that he had remembered this particular memory.
She smiled again "And people say you men never remember the little things" She teased him.
"It wasn't little Jen" He protested.
She raised her eyebrows asking why?
"I caught a cold the next day and spent the next week in bed Jen!" He reminded her.
She rolled her eyes "Now I see why Stephanie went after you with a golf club" She growled at him teasingly.
"I'm hurt Jen" He told her just as teasingly spinning her around past Ducky who was dancing with Abby.
"Aww I'm sorry Jethro" She said to him smiling at him again
"I know how you could make it up to me" He told her.
She gave him the look that Abby was always referring to as 'the mums stare' "We are at our wedding reception Jethro! I am not sneaking off to some cupboard with you not in this dress" She told him eyebrows raised and eyes sparkling.
"I wasn't even thinking about that Jen!" He protested.
She rolled her eyes and he continued "I was going to say tell me your vows again"
She stopped joking around and snapped her head up and looked at him "Ok" She agreed nodding "But you can't make me cry this time" She told him
"Agreed" He said nodding
He wrapped his arms around her tightly and she started softly repeating the words she had spoken that had bought not only her and Jethro to tears but almost the whole room,
You gave me your strength when I had none of my own left,
You gave me a shoulder to lean on when I was weak,
You gave me your love and asked for nothing in return
When I look at you I know that you are all I will ever need...
So many nights I cried myself to sleep
now that you love me
I love myself
I never thought I would say that
I never thought there'd be you.
The End.