I was afraid of the finale. I knew that they’d give us literal hell. I mean I still hope for something good, an ending we’ll all be more or less happy with. And I’m saying more or less because let’s face it – it’s a show we all love  dearly that is ending after 15 years and after oh so much history. 

I made that decision to watch the last three episodes in the live stream so not to miss anything important. I knew the last three/four eps would have the big finale story arc, and much was going to happen.

But this? I did not expect this. Maybe I expected that in the end only Sam and Dean remained for the final fight. Maybe I expected for everyone to somehow die, vanish, whatever.

Maybe I even expected some wink towards the Destiel shippers.

I don’t know what to say now.

I like to quote myself from Tumblr:

He didn’t just say “I love you” though. He literally said “in all of time and space, in all of heaven, hell, earth, purgatory and whatnot, in an existence that has been lasting for eons, YOU are my happiness.

Back when Cas first was told by the Empty that he’d be taken the moment he found true happiness my shipper heart believed true happiness would be recognizing and admitting his feelings for Dean. 

I never thought they would actually do it.

I also never thought it would hurt so damn much. 

Watching it back, I’m convinced Dean had to know or at least have a strong hunch where this was going. But he didn’t stop him. He tried his best to look at Cas, not to avert his eyes. And when Cas said it, his answer was “Don’t do this Cas”. Because Dean was hoping that as long as he didn’t say it back, Cas’ happiness would not be fulfilled and the Empty wouldn’t get him.

Dean did say it back. He feels the same and he basically admitted it by not doing so.

And that’s my headcanon for now.

As said, I don’t believe Cas is gone for good. They always have something up their sleeves, and they better play that card, they better bring him back. And then – then they give us an answer. An answer from Dean, because Chuck dammit, we deserve it. 

They better give us some kind of happy end. 

Because that we deserve too.

But most of all, Dean and Cas deserve it.

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Tags: Destiel, Supernatural